(no subject)

Yours will number, yours will be
A paragon, a Paraclete
Keep your bed warm, keep your humor
Keep your proverbs short and sweet

I'm sorry, I'm sorry
That life is anxious, life is mean
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
A pair of shoes is what you need

I'm happy, I'm happy
Your birthday brings a pardoning
I'm happy, I'm happy
You're like a bird that will not be
  • Current Music
    sufjan stevens

(no subject)

i spent the weekend at luis' parent's house and it turned out to be a lot of fun! besides the fact that i felt as if was at home because of the food and all the ecuadorianess, they were really great people to me and that made me feel great! luis was also very awesome to me and i had loads of fun, despite the fact that we were in port charlotte AKA middle of nowhere. lolololol jk babe 8) but yeah, ive never had so much fun in a playground ever ever ever ever and i have a new found love for homemade ice cream! also, i dont think i can go into a laundry room and not giggle ever again. all in all, this past weekend turned out to be magnificent (even though i was sooo0o0o0o nervous to begin with!)
anyway, i have a busy week/weekend coming up and i wont be having an exam for like 2 weeks...thank goodness! so its time to relax for a bit and enjoy.
i dont really want to get a job for various various reasons but i might need to soooooooo ugh, we'll see. i'm also really craving hungry bear.......yummmmm!
oh! luis made me a really cool painting bc he's the best best best ever and yeah its really pretty (but obviously he's all like "0mGeeezzz....it SuXXxxorzZzZ". well, needless to say, he's on crack and i love it (the painting and him). i cant wait to see him in a couple of days :)
OH YEAH and i'm currently in love with REZ....and evenor and his NASTY NASTY FOOT
  • Current Music
    sufjan stevens

(no subject)

life is so complex and certain parts of my life are the mirror opposite of the other. i miss amerra so much, she was so special to me and we had the best memories i could ever ask for. i love her so much and i feel complete sadness when i realize that she is not around to make me just enjoy life the way she did. i hope she is ok and i cannot wait to see her again. until then, i cannot live my life asking why why why because i will never find the answer and that will drive me insane. instead i must accept, learn and continue to live life with as much passion as ive always had for it. i have amazing friends that have helped me out in so many moments of despair, i have my family who have all been really great to me and i have luis who makes me feel happy again. im not sure where im going with this, im just rambling about everything. i just have so many emotions bottled up inside of me and its hard to sort them out. in this instant my life is so good, all it is missing is her. i am enjoying my classes and i am putting so much more effort than i did last semester, i am spending more time by myself and i am completely fine with that, i have stopped some unhealthy habits and started some healthy ones, my relationship with my mom keeps going in the right direction, i have luis and he makes me feel out of this world and really seems to enjoy me for who i am, i have really understanding roommates and i have my diana. i sometimes wonder if everything was strategically placed like that so i can cope with such an immense loss in a better way. i'm not gonna lie, sometimes i put up a front bc i dont want people to worry about me but im getting there. i will make it. i loved her so much and i know she would have done the same with me, she would have enjoyed life regardless of it all and she would have thought about me the whole ride as i am doing with her.
im off to physics and logic & proof of mathematics, off to get some stuff and the off to down south to be with diana and then luis.
  • Current Music
    blonde redhead

(no subject)

i'm walking out in a force ten gale
birds thrown around, bullets for hail
the roof is pulling off by its fingernails
your voice is rattlin’ on my window sill
yesterday's headlines blown by the wind
yesterday's people end up scatterbrain
any fool can easy pick a hole i only wish i could fall in
a moving target in a firing range
somewhere i'm not
scatterbrain
somewhere i'm not
scatterbrain
lightning fuse, powercut
scatterbrain
  • Current Music
    radiohead

(no subject)

i dont tell anyone expect my close friends how i'm feeling bc i find it to be very personal but i am suffering very much so. now that i'm on my own again without the support of my family and close friends back home i hope everything goes alright with me. i know i have to do it and i know i will.
on a brighter note, i did spend a spectacular weekend with luis :)

good luck to everyone this year
  • Current Music
    bep: gone going

(no subject)

the last few days have been the hardest days for me to deal with. going through the day feels like an eternity of an unwanted emotional rollercoaster.
i am thankful for the friends and family members that are helping me and ultimately, i am thankful for her.

(no subject)

i have a ridiculous amount of things running around in my mind....from mental images of the countless drunken nights, followed by the information i have been constantly feeding my brain in the last few days, to the names of all the new people ive met and the names of the people i never want to forget. all of that combined with all the new emotions i have experience and new depths of life i have encountered.
this is all so overwhelming and i cannot wait to go home and RELAX

just a couple more days!!
  • Current Music
    gym class heroes